Coping with the Loss of a Facebook Friend

It has happened to the best of us. You log into Facebook and suddenly you are one friend less than you were 24 short hours ago. Your pulse races, you begin to sweat, thoughts of, "who doesn't like me" run through your mind. It is an instant transformation to high school and the discovery that there are people in this world who may not like everything you may have to say.

Facebook is not like Twitter or Buzz, this is more personal. If it's the random guy you met at a bar, a fellow Mafia Wars player, or the girl who sat across from you in Geography class fifteen years ago - not such a big deal. But if it's someone you thought you had a connection with - it has the potential of destroying your social networking confidence. Alas, I have some suggestions that can help to cope with the loss of that special Facebook friend.

See if they have left Facebook
Perhaps it wasn't you, it was them. Maybe they didn't enjoy the Facebook experience. Maybe they were getting some creepy friend requests and split. Search for them. If they have left Facebook completely then you can breathe a sigh of relief and move on without a care in the world. You are still a Facebook connoisseur.

Is this person a Facebook nOOb?
I had a friend that I had since high school that I had a good rapport with: wall postings, messages, the works. However, I woke up one morning and found we were no longer friends. Risking my Facebook dignity, I added him as a friend again and he accepted and sent me a message asking why I sent another friend request since we were still friends. I alerted him we weren't and he still had no idea. Either a.) I am naive and he did delete me and played dumb or; b.) he just is tech dumb and deleted me without his knowledge or; c.) he didn't follow the coveted, "don't drink and Facebook" rule and woke up the next morning in a puddle of his own vomit, all of his friends deleted off of Facebook after losing his cool due to a heated debate he had with another intoxicated Facebook friend over the amount of Chicken McNuggets that can come from a whole chicken.

Make a desperate plea for amends
Like George Costanza, you can take the fact that someone may not like you to heart and do everything in your power to win back the heart of your fallen Facebook friend. You can write this person a heartfelt message begging for forgiveness for whatever Facebook error you may have made that cost you your Facebook friend. Beg, plead, and possibly cry your way back into this individual's Facebook life. Let them know that you can change for them and that you will do your best to be a better Facebook friend. A tear or two may need to be shed, or at least assumed since you can't see tears in a Facebook message, but get that Facebook friend back at all costs.

Let them know that you aren't going to take it
Who the hell does this person think they are? You went out of your way to be a good Facebook friend. You wished them a happy birthday on their birthday, you sent them Farkle chips, you even asked them to read your note, "25 Things I do every day" and then asked them to write their own so you could read it. And what did you get for your hard Facebook work, a silent dismissal from this person's Facebook universe. Well, you let them know that isn't right. Go ahead and send them a message. Tell them that you were the best damn Facebook friend there can be and tell them that it wasn't you, it was them. Perhaps throw some swearing in for good measure. Let them know that this isn't the way you treat a Facebook friend.

Spread rumors about them
If you have sent them the angry message but no reply, find mutual Facebook friends and let them know what is going on. Why should they get to be an innocent bystander? This is Facebook, there are no innocents, they all signed up for this...they knew what they were getting into. Start spreading rumors and lies. Berate your friends with all kinds of accusations and plea your side of the Facebook friend loss. If you lose any of those Facebook friends because of your ranting and berating, go ahead berate them too. This is the Internet, it was meant for this type of thing.

Accept the loss
Maybe you didn't communicate enough. Maybe you communicated too often. Maybe every other status update about how much you love your wife, husband, best friend, dog, cat, daughter, son, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, sister, brother was too much for them to take. Maybe they didn't like being hammered with Mafia Wars requests. Maybe they just don't like you, hell not everyone has to like you - it is time to move on. Let the person go. You had some good times, you played some Scrabble, you send some Farmville requests…you have the memories. Let them go and realize that there are more fish in Fishville. Take the grown up approach and accept the loss. If that doesn't work, you can always send them that nasty message or start spreading rumors about them. Really, the possibilities are endless.