Old Man from 'The Legend of Zelda'. Like a drunken high school football player, the old man from 'The Legend of Zelda' can be both your best friend and your worst enemy. He could give you a sword or a helpful piece of advice. Or, if you catch him in the wrong state, perhaps after a fifth of Jack Daniels, he will make you give him your lunch money or take your life - literally. But, the upside outweighs his mean streak. If anything, you may need him in a bar brawl - when pissed he throws fire balls, and that is pretty cool.
Doc Louis. Ok, while generally worthless, he is just an upbeat, 'just happy to be here', kind of guy. He is like Def Leppard described as "an average ordinary everyday dude." He may be doing something borderline perverted to your shoulder, he may be lazy sitting on his bike while you run behind him, and his conversation is about as interesting as a monotone insurance executive lecturing how a bill becomes a law. But, the smile and the happy-go-lucky spirit make him the guy you call when you just need a pick me up when life kicks you in the ass. Also, he did create the "Star Punch" so he can show you how to take care of yourself when the old man from 'The Legend of Zelda' decides to drunkenly make an inappropriate pass at Linda (and her twin sister) from 'Double Dragon'.
Cherry Grace. Say what you want about an unbelievably easy friend. If nothing else, they are at least entertaining. And Cherry Grace embodies it perfectly. Pretty much at any time, all Cherry Grace wants to do is go back to the hotel room. She'll hit you with a cheesy line about the state of the world and the next thing, the hotel lights are fading to black. What else can you ask for?
Meditating 'Faxanadu' Hippie. There is a lot to be said about having a Phish loving hippie-type in your life. The 'Faxanadu' hippie just wants peace, love, and meditation. Whenever you see him, you know that you will have to succumb to an obnoxiously long password that needs to be written exactly as it appears but it's all good brah, a little meditation, the Dead's 'Europe '72', and a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale will make it all better. Plus, couple him and Doc to possibly keep the old man in check.
Error. He isn't too bright but Error has that loveable 'Forrest Gump' thing going for him. It is a simple statement that speaks volumes. "I am Error." Questions? I didn't think so. Think of it this way, he would never rat you out and could keep himself a secret.
Dog from 'Duck Hunt'. We all have that jack ass friend who takes great pleasure in the failure of his friends. The dog from 'Duck Hunt' is one of those but still lovable. And, he must be like Neo with the way he can dodge bullets. I probably shot at him fifty thousand times and not once did I hit him.
How about those bitches from Zelda that turn into bats after you talk to them? They would come in handy in akward social situations, or if you need to get away from the cops!
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